Hi there, for the lack of a better term, and what I have been trying to say and how I am trying to deliver it.
April 2nd is a deadline for myself, if I can’t make something I want & need soo badly to happen, rather it be my side business, my job, or even my own streaming on twitch. I have to call it quits. I am also trying to decided If I will be stepping away from Computers, IT, Cyber and all…
Here is my pivot point: I am switching to and humbling down too from.
Shifting my focus towards the car community I refugeed back when I was in Oregon and got inspired to do at one point maybe shift focus into the underground car community and give back into what it means to street race and that deadly underground world. Switching careers to potentially autozone or firestone, maybe I could just jump in as a manager of something along that lines. Because I do have excellent customer service skills and management to follow.
I guess you can say:
I am tired of fighting for where I want to be, I am done going the extra mile because I don’t hold that special degree or a cert when clearly I can do the job and so on… I can’t afford 5k+ certs and I can’t afford that debt for schooling for it.
I am tired of actually getting into a field with my skills but it isn’t where I want to be and I get stuck with poor management to a point I become a target of harassment and bullied upon.
I hate applying for computer related jobs because I am a shitty network / sales person and I can’t get to that point on my own with out some type of help.
This is how my business isn’t launching:
In Oregon, I used a tool called BNI(Business Network International), it’s a forced network marketing with others, you pay to play, the business picked up because I am not a sales person but my business partner was and it was “forced” networking and doing business with. . Replicate that in Vegas is hard mainly due to the BNI is much more expensive and at the time I was living basically homeless but had a full time under the table job back at the ISP just to make money. I don’t have any type of partnerships to also get the help from. I do have a full on layout floorplan how the business model will be successful from a short to long term goals but to sell that to someone has been a super hard challenge. I went as far as email scraping and spamming local businesses but not 1 bite and been at this since 2011, and always retrying different strat that would have worked in the early 00’s.
My stream of games will sadly come to an end, because not just with a career change but my side I’ll have to be lowering my costs such as my huge internet bill. Sole purpose of getting unlimited and gigabyte speeds was for streaming gaming. Purpose of Streaming is networking and community building with applied support from the games I play. Maybe I’ll change my mind if things where different and I had some type of networking partner or something. Thinking back I did alot of major accomplishments for myself I even broke my own people anxiety but that is as far as it goes.
When my ex-wife has told me “you are not a like-able person” as I know one way she was saying that because she was attempting to actually bully me but it is hard not to agree that she was right and I have seen that now. I have had multiple front page exposures and best I got from that is 2-3 average viewers less than a few active that pops in every now and then. from 2018, this is now 2021… in midst of the pandemic. Numbers are insane for viewership just… not for me.. there has been weeks and months I’ve taken time off of work and streamed during the day and spent 8 – 12 hour streams and maybe I’ll get 1 day of multiple viewers but on average nope.
Applied for gaming sponsorship from gaming companies, this ends up in heartbreak all the damn time. Prime examples is Companies like Warframe or Sea of thieves are the 2 major ones I currently play. Warframe or DE is solely if one of their people actually like you vs what you can bring to the table and if you have a friend already they can get you in. SoT is more of a high demand relaying on your YouTube viewership than their Twitch….
In a nutshell:
There is a saying my mom would tell me over time and time again about the story about the mom who baked cookies and asked for help countless of times but never receives it. Cookies are done and now everyone wants one but refuses to give one to the people who didn’t help.
I guess, you can say I have been attempting to make and bake these cookies for soo long, it’s time to toss them out and start a new batch elsewhere.