I’ve actually interviewed with over 30 jobs in over 4 months.. that is  insane.
but sadly…. none accepted me.

Well, I have grown to my limits with this position, it’s not allowing me to advance on gain more knowledge and so on. The work environment has became toxic since I was thrown under the buss and made an example of in 2019 and my mom dies a week after, this job is like working in a pirate ship they look all to be your friends but they are there to stab you in the back when you need their help the most.

This job has been most stressful and it’s on job duties that is not mine, stuff I didn’t sign up for. The stress is beyond a level than it should be I guess this is why I am on the verge of putting in my 2 weeks and quitting for over a year now. I feel like I am wasting my talent and my time being in this job and I don’t want to be at this feeling. Life is too short to have this kind of stress level I don’t give a damn if the casino just got sold and all the bullshit, I had enough and damn it I have had enough.

I lost my nervous feeling with interviews on the 2nd interview a few months ago, so it is technically not being nervous anymore.

Just I don’t know what I am doing wrong, I’ve answered their technical questions, I do all the things right that should have potentially say “you’re hired”.  But I don’t, I am ready to submit this 2 weeks and break away now I just wished it would be with another company   and not end up being unemployed.

I am going to keep names out for security reasons, but here is a sum up of the interview’s this week, as it hurt me deeply when I didn’t get the Zappos job as I wanted, so I wanted to hack my interview process as I don’t get nervous anymore.

1. Interview on Monday, this one got me by storm as they did their homework. I did interview with them last summer but it wasn’t like this before nor did I use my “name” name as I used my deadname in before at this point they knew or I assume they do. This was for an MDR style company focused on Threat Detection and Incident Response, my role is an Systems Admin for a Cyber Security Firm.
   1. Pro:  This round they hit me hard as they actually investigated me, they “technically doxxed me” and completely caught me of guard on the knowledge about me already and I love it.
   2. Another Pro: is that they know what they are getting and they seemed super excited.
   3. Con: on this one is now they also know my struggle with harassment from my current employer how I am struggling especially with coping from my loss while my job is kicking me while I am down per-se.
   4. Con: Caught me on a reflection of a failure dream of mine, I had to explain that it seems to be turning around a little by little.
   5. Reflection on this is, it feels like I could be an excellent fit for them but Last time I got this feeling they ghosted me, I didn’t even get a rejection letter.
   6. Interview questions and answering I took a difference approach, I actually did some research on the terminology to reflect on universal questions that actually did NOT get asked this time (super sus here)  Answered technically questions on the dot.
   7. I’ve listed my linkedIn and my website’s they went as far as to my past streams / YT etc… they might have lurked in a stream or 2.
   8. I didn’t have to technically toss in any social engineering questions to really poke and build on their company as they sold me from the start.
2. Interview on Tuesday, this one hits my deadname hard.  Based on an Senior level Systems Admin.
   1. Pro’s working with SCCM
   2. Pro All local business, main client is a local collage.
   3. Con with this brings back old memories of a consistent driving around everywhere.
   4. Con they have done no research on me, not even a ping on my linkedin. They asked basic questions. The interview was short and very basic.
   5. Reflection, I used my research on answering generic questions that gave a professional answer and tried to keep anytype of self pity out of it as this was one of my weaknesses of the past in interviewing.
   6. Tossed in a few social engineering to learn about this team and it was all basic stuff nothing big.
3. Interview on Wednesday, this one is with my current employer but in a different department.  Cyber Security Software Engineering
   1. Pro’s I’ve worked with the interviewers in the past so they already technically know how I work but had to ask questions based on it.
   2. Pro’s they know I want in as I have been applying for this position for over 4+ years now and have followed up with them on it.
   3. Con with this one, it’s a casino…
   4. Con They added in off the wall questions that wasn’t really questions but puzzles that require some thought and if you are not ready for a puzzle they understand it?
   5. Reflection, they slipped as they already have a role for me during the process if I get chosen, thing is I put in this application last fall well over 6 months.  I threw in some Social Engineering questions to see if they picked up on it and only the last one at the end they caught me red handed on.

Overall all of these interviews was great, if I had an offer from all 3. I would choose 1, 3 second and 2 last. Because their delivery and how they took that extra time and learn me! If you are going to hire someone might as well get to really know them especially if they put that information out there.  #3 would be a second choice because they already worked with me and I’ve worked with them in the past and we know each other by work relations but not on a personal level they didn’t take the time like I did and investigate them on their personal level like #1 did for me and #2 would be last because I feel like I will be working with people who just put off the vibe of just there to collect a check.  I don’t want to be around that kind of people who feel like they clock in for a check as personality clashes happen and if you can’t trust your co-worker then what is the point?

When I jump to an interview, I technically lookup my interviewer in essence doxx them to understand who is interviewing me, I get to learn them on a different level in essence I could figure out some terminology for my explanations to their questions.

Social engineering about what they do and how they do it and see if they give any insight if I am a perfect match for their company by giving away details upon the process. Like I would toss in something in relation to a question or even a joke to the process and I pick up on certain words placed in like a topic of a project currently in.

Here is what I found out with all 3 interviews.
#1, caught me off guard with zoom, but was hard to do any type of digging but there was a lot of red flags that I might already be selected as they kept the interview short and sweet and more into my personal stuff and even on a car level of things. I was afraid that coming in to this I would be interviewed like I was last summer, but not even a discussion about salary and instead of 1 person, 2 people joined the call… and they digging that personal is a huge red flag on a good side that feels promising for sure this time around.

#2 was a teams call, they gave me details of how the whole network is run and operated, technically if I was a bad actor I can site on a campus and do bad things good thing I am not… they didn’t ask for salary information that gives me an idea they might have me in sights as they need someone reliable. After the incident with 2014, I don’t want to be caught in another company with that same situation.

#3 This one had some red flags, one of the guys kind of already had a role for me and spoke it as an accident during the interview process.  I lead with a joke and all but that is how this person works. Puzzles I was trying to skim them to give me the answers to them but they gave alot of hints this was a time filler as they kept on stating we have this much time left and so on and they have no actual questions for me.  Basic questioning especially on the work we did together in the past was asked and nothing I was expecting to be asked, they caught me red handed as this one I asked “how did I do?” typically they should not give you an answer Zappos did and it caught them off guard, because in all fairness they don’t seem to be fair if they told you that you did good. but I learned something from this as their response was golden vs the one from zappos… They almost told me that I could be the one but has to respond with an actual professional response of “nope can’t tell you” as the zappos one felt like I had to say something nice to not hurt feelings.

I hope in a perfect word #1 gets me as I feel sold already.

But as I have been feeling lately, rejection is a strong feel and when you apply for rejection when an offer is drawn you are not only humbled by the request but you also value it.