As they say if you don’t like something. Change it!
One thing I would rant to my mom about is working on the strip, how much I really do hate it and how much I regret it, I should have stayed in Oregon somehow is my overall feeling. But we cannot dwell in the past and I don’t have my mom to rant to anymore so with some deep thought since her passing was I need to change it all.
I am pushing for new changes as WRNet:Sec is the new birthplace of the business with cyber security.
I got the call 7/17/2019 at 7:15am when I got to my desk at work, this call I missed and it was from my bro which is very rare and only time he would call me especially at work if there was an emergency.
I returned his call and to find out that my mom has passed away. I told my boss right away and left work, on the way to the car I was having a hard time processing it and as soon as I got to my car I uncontrollably started to cry. From work, I head home and trying to hold back my emotion as much as I can and focus on driving home and as soon as I got home I put the car in neutral and E-Brake applied I just broke down and uncontrollably started to cry. Feeling that my mom is finally gone, remembering all that she has said. From there I am now flooded with soo much emotions and with soo many thoughts but I was also told my nephew didn’t know what happened yet so I had to force myself to stop and head to my room.
About an hour has passed since I got home, my brother brought my step dad over with my uncle bob where I was told the story after gripping my step dad in a hug and started to cry.
My mom, had her rough moments, she was a survivor, what has made this rough on me is that we was friends if not best friends for all my life. She was the one, when I had an issue I felt the easiest talk to and sometimes get friendly advice, aside from motherly advice because in essence she was more of a friend person than a mother. She was also known to be a very overprotected mom, but she also was wanting to be everyone’s mom too. She was a social butterfly at times and always trying to hook me up with other women out there especially from stores to restaurants. IF she was a sales person, she would make a large profit in sales alone but that was never her thing she always wanted to be a consoler and help other kids but she never had the chance to go back to school and get her GED.
She passed away between 6-7am on 07/17/2019 from an Acute Pulmonary Embolism as an instant death as soon as she got up from sleeping like she normally does she blackout and my dad found her less than 1 foot away from the bed face first on the ground. (Normally she would also text me around 6-7am every morning with “Good Morning”) She was not breathing nor had a heart pulse when my dad found her at 7am and she had no struggle or my dad would have woken up, as he is a light sleeper to begin with. My dad woke up at 7am, and called my brother after he called 911, and between 7 and 7:15 I got a call from my brother about it.
She had a hard life to begin with, a month ago she was crying to me about how the doc was diagnosing her with different symptoms from early stages of diabetes he also was having some other heart issues she lived with for so long on top of chronic migraines. She was also crying about high blood pressure was bad and being overweight and told me she is very afraid to die and doesn’t want to die especially the same way that her mom died when she was 18. (She found her mom one day after school on the ground that put her into a coma and later on the family had to pull the plug from life support)
So with little that I had and I had my money issues I couldn’t fully support her on what she wanted but I helped improvising the situation of hers by advising what to eat and not to eat and she did that as much as she could. Last week around 7/11 she got word from her doc that she lost over 23lbs in a month’s time but was told by the doc that she needed to go to the ER about the swollen leg and the pain from it, but she had a huge fear of the ER and had a lot of reasons not to. She procrastinated in going, and doing so 7/11 -> 7/15 I was dealing with some massive work drama that had me feeling I am about to lose my job over an accident that I didn’t find out until Monday night after setting up a lab and finding out the issue. Last time I spoken to my mom was on 7/15’s that night we spoken for over an hour on the phone and last thing we did say was “I love you” 7/16 she and I didn’t speak. I found it strange as she normally calls me unexpectedly.
Some good happy memories I’ve had with her, this past year I helped her leave a toxic house and moved to a trailer home that was new in a very nice community and it was closer to my house and to my nephew who she also loved to death as well. One of the many things she would tell me how much she loved it there how friendly everyone was around her and the people she was meeting. Because that was one of her issues that she felt so isolated and for the longest time she isolated herself from the world and it was my mission to un isolate her by forcing her out with me a lot of times.
2016 I won tickets to Formula Drift Long Beach and I decided to take her with me to it. Rented a hotel and we had Roscoe’s Chicken and waffles and another night we had Bubba Gump Shrimp. She loved both places and enjoyed every moment especially when we went to the beach shortly before we head back. This trip is what set her up on changing her ways with her drug addiction, that lead to stop her pill abuse that she was known to have for so many years.
Misc little things was when I was able to help with small things like bring by food when I can afford it when they had none or given into times of cigs because she was a chain smoker that refused to quit.
I would surprise her with stuff every now and then, that would always be a surprise to her, and she always enjoyed it.
Another happy moment was when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2003, she dropped everything including her drug addiction she had at the time to spend every day from the ER visit till my final chemo treatment with me. Her and my stepfather was there by my side from day 1 giving me support to keep a positive head and to truck forward to recovery.
When her brother passed away in feb of 2017, She ended up staying at my house as she was having a mental breakdown after returning back from Wisconsin, I did my best to help her cope with it until the point that she had to return home as she was getting overwhelming.
Her overwhelming part started shortly after I returned from Oregon in 2011, this is when she went to the hospital and where she had to be placed into an chemical induced coma. When she woke up (this was all from the toxic in her blood from a non-treated UTI that ended up in the blood shutting down her kidneys back then), she never really had been the same since. There was moments, at times (a lot of times, normally I call this a 2 week period times). That if she seen it in her dreams it happened in real life or if I said something in her dreams I also said it for real in rea life with this and mixed with the drugs she has been also have been taking at the time, It really has messed with her mind at times.
Our main issues that she and I always had is that she needed a financial crutch since her brother had a heart attack and had to retire. This point is she lost her major point of income and started to look at me because I took a casino job and assumed I made over 6 figures per year because I am in I.T. (this was far from that) and I always wanted my own life. I bought my house in 2014, moved out from sleeping on the sofa because the living situation turned toxic from the few years living there.
It’s was like, everyone was always telling me to cut the rope between Her and I, but in reality it wasn’t a rope to cut she wasn’t just mom she was a friend that understood me the most and almost always had my back.
She did had her moments, as she was also vindictive; she used her skills in a time of need. She was possibly a great hacker with social engineering she may have not of been a good speller or knew how to code, but she was defiantly one with the words and how to manipulate them with people to bend the rules and get things she needed or at times wanted. If she can bend or break the system without being caught. She would and if it was to feed her family, she did it. However, if it were on an emotional level if she felt threatened, she would use it against others especially the ones she loved.
In the end she had to deal with a lot of deaths in her life mostly family of who she loved from her father, mother, step father, and her brothers who she loved and cared about the most in her life. She never really seeked out the help for them and dealt with a lot of that pain inside and let it hurt her inside.
Before she met my stepfather she had many abused relationships especially being 6 years old, watching some guy physically beat her up and down a hallway that happened often and helpless to do anything about it.
Her only family she had left was my uncle (her last brother) who lived with her all her life, my stepfather, my brother, my brother’s family and me. My uncle is 72 year old and is operating on a pacemaker so she is had been super afraid that if he would pass away before she does that she will most likely have lost her mind completely.
My mom and best friend, in loving memory. 10-31-1959 to 07-17-2019.
Yeah, I am a 1 person army still trucking along after 20 years of this.
I am pushing back to free lance basic hosting again and very select on web design since my main focus is for WRnet’s consulting service with infosec.
My current network projects are the following
Dorkmedia -> Graphic and Web Design corner redesign
RavenPC -> Computer Hardware Project – currently setting up to where you can purchase my current pc setup built and secured by me making this my brand of pc line.
TougeSW -> Blog on Drift Experience in the South West (mainly vegas)
DC702 -> A defcon group for the local 702 (I figured and kinda inspired by the DC919 group) to start up a group.
//11/11/2019 I wrote the bottom around June 14th. As an update to this, It was like I was going to conquer a fear and come out to my mom and stuff and let her be the bridge between and proceed further with coming out. But as my mom passed away, I have lost that fear instead I feel like that moment when Neo died in the matrix (part1) and Morpheus sat there lost of all hope and stunned. That is how I have been feeling. But yes I am transgender(transwoman) and I just don’t care what or who finds out anymore as I am going to live the life how I want to live it and no one can judge me on how I want to live it.’ This is me that has been hiding for a long time, if you have questions you have a multiple ways to contact me just contact me and don’t assume.
I am spawning WRNet’s Info Sec consulting to WRNET:Sec which I am about to launch by the end of this week.
//June 14th: Hi there, First of all welcome. I have been doing some updates and making more of a focus point of how I want to turn this into a business.
I have been streaming alot lately, I have taken a liking to this platform to learn others who come in and chill while I stream a video game or do some IRL stufff. I don’t use twitch to make money from instead I use it to reach out to future clients, friends, and / or potential partnerships.
If you visit my stream lately you get surprised of what you have find, it’s personal to me but it is a good way to be more of a business and friendship relationship building. Couple of things you will notice from my streams, that one I do advertise that I am a cancer survivor since 2003 and another would be I am actually a transwoman. On stream I have been open about it, but it is no big deal but it does being open places a target on my back if you want to know more feel free to visit my stream and ask me anything in that topic. This might be a shock to some but if I have not told you personally take this as a public release. For me personally nothing changes, I am still the same person who have known before just different and for once in my life I am happy and happy with myself and lets just leave it there.
So yeah, I am pushing WRNet to be more business related and with in time to be it’s own business entity.
Yo,
I have an big announcement that I will post in a bit.
But in the mean time, I have made a huge changes that is including how you see the website. I am going to wrap more about my twitch stream here including some new warframe and other games stuff.
I am an Affiliated twitch streamer -> https://twitch.tv/WonderingRaven
Twitter -> WonderingRaven
Discord -> Here
IRC, coming soon! (meanwhile you can catch me here)
This is considered my project for the next year.
//History:
Back in 2011, I was chased out of Central Oregon (Living in Redmond, Oregon). I was held against my will over a webdesign I did for a friend. I lived in the same house as my business partner at the time that was for a local pc repair where I partnered with this person and instead of a collaboration of a partnership, it turned into slave labor as I pored in over 12-14 hour days for 6 days a week.
When I attempted to do even a social life, I was questioned and lectured. Granted the company pulled in over 100k in one year, I was still living off of my unemployment and seen nothing of any parts of that.
We would argue when I would question my fair share or when I would question something in any form of payment (You know what you are promised) and when he found out I did a side project for a girl I was seeing as friends, he got extremely afraid that I was doing business behind his back and on that day I was told I was free to leave but if I leave he would call the police and state I’ve stolen over 10,000 worth of stuff. For that I spent the day in the house with no internet and my phone service turned off because I did the stupid mistake of moving my phone service to his account to *save* money.
When I found out just by playing dumb to his game, I was furious about it. I packed up and moved back to Las Vegas where I was born and raised. I am not happy living in Vegas, never have been. I loved it in Central Oregon.
He did attempted to extort me when I moved back to Vegas, with stating what he said he would have done if I would have left. When I left I had nothing anyways just my pc and if I didn’t continued to work for him remotely that he was going to keep up the charges (it was shortly dropped when he kept changing the stories and turned into harassment)
//Operation: The Return.
2019-2020 I want to make my goal to return to Central Oregon. maybe like I did in 2009 on my birthday.
Doing so I need to have an income and well established network / business model.
Goal is to bring WonderingRaven Networks as a community, To start with that I would need to break away and start to become mostly a streamer at first. To obtain my dream to move out of vegas again for the last time, I need to have a sustainable income, I can’t break away if I am not making the money to support myself and able to move and I can’t do it alone.
I don’t have a rich family, I am the only one who has made something of themselves and my current family is constantly after me because I work in a casino. As they think I am making 6+ figures and enough to support them, but that isn’t true at all especially when I am barely holding it down with house payment, bills, and car payment and it’s hard to do this solo but I have done it and the ones who know me personally knows I am constantly fighting for my own paycheck. So this job I feel like I am currently riding on the edge of my seat from day to day, even though I am good at what I do it is a casino and when corporate decides to cut jobs I could be apart of that is cut.
//How can you help?
Break it down of what I would need:
With Twitch, I would need about 1600 T1 Subs to break even with what I currently make per year with my job.
To plan a move it was roughly around 10k last time in 2009 to move to Oregon. This was also included with finding a rental house to move into and the flight back to drive the uhaul.
to live until my house sells I would need around 6 months income of 4,000 a month.
I can’t make this happen with out a community so be apart of it.
I could use any assistance in growing and making residual incoming right now even to break away from the casino and the las vegas strip. It will take a bit to grow as I am really stuck where I am at and to move would require me to bank a few paychecks and not pay a bill and the mortgage for a few months and I can’t do that as this would hurt in the long run.
Subs work, that is a huge goal though. I am open to any type of partnerships or sponsors etc…
If you are following, I have been some what on the change path lately.
As I keep innovating to keep things moving, things are being changed around.
If you have not noticed, I stream daily from 7 or 8 pm PST till normally 11pm-ish.
I have been revolving my network around that since my job change over to Patch and Vulnerability Management, a lot of projects especially with DC702 Group’s I’ve put together has been kinda silent.
I am working on various partnership and I am also building a network as a service platform to help promote my network as a business to hope one day get funding for it’s official location.
MR26 is done and over. I enjoy the Mastery Rank challenges, they are actually fun and challenges my mind. at this point I am prepping for when MR27 is released.
That is one thing about Warframe, the Dev’s love their job and love crafting this game out of an artist point of view.
Now, what if I became a partner? just out of the blue I get the invitation because I play and promote this game already.
From a streamer / artists point of view, being a partner is not just a respect thing but a symbol of an achievement to show love for a game and love of a community.
From a sales point of view, every partner is a potential sales agent, Because now your advertising and getting more people hooked and keeping them hooked and more players playing and always up 2 date on the content is more potential to buy services such as prime access or in game currency.
In many cases, you can’t just apply to be apart of a team just because you want only the status symbol and a piece of graphic . There is a huge responsibility, in which you would have to turn around what you are already promoting and schedule to also reflect it as well.
Just like any partner app to a business, there is perks of the job to the partnership.
WRNet is my business network, it’s growing a little by little and one day I will be able to finally toss a side the casino job and go full time with WRnet as a business store front again.
Hi, as you have noticed I have somewhat published dc702.net and it is a project for the WRNetwork.
Idea: Create a group for everyone that is like wise has a special skills with computers and loves the curiosity to understand how it functions and looks to either hunt for vulnerabilities to break it or make it better. Just to bring a computer, chill, exchange cool stuff, show and tell, and best of all enjoy some food.
Focus is just hang out, socialize, learn something and share information.
I have finally hit MR25, I started back in April at MR1 and ended with MR25 (well now that mr26 is open) This is technically almost done. I do know I am slowing down on streaming this. Mainly after streaming it mainline for over these past 9+ months I got no support for it, it really is hard to keep going as I feel ignored from the community.
Moving forward, I have returned to Final Fantasy 11 and 14 Online.
