“I started with this hacking shit, and this is the motherfuckin thanks I get?”
As the song plays on and story about to be told and unleashed to YT Hell, I hacked my career in IT and into the ISP as my first job. I did do a smaller version but this one I am about to release is a much more in depth to this version.
- 1999 – 2000 -> I started out as a cyber punk, black hat asshat.
- 2000 -> r00ted and Owned the ISP due to a major beef with other hackers that had access first but never patched them.
- 2000 – 2007 – it took 3 tries to get in the door, over time I ended up waring a multi hat admin, engineering, and service desk role but was only worth $10/hour as *cheap* labor with promises that was never fulfilled. This ISP owner basically hacked me in return as he socially, mentally, and verbally abused me over time.
- 2011 – 2012 – I returned to this ISP in thinking I would get something from it but back to verbally abusing me.
- 2020 – I handed an offer I was laughed at and was told I was too expensive, with a fuck off and have a nice day. *note, I never pointed out any money to be asking*
I feel like I am wasting my time with a place that see me only as “cheap” labor and knowing my own worth should be an powerful ally let alone.
There is always 2 sides to every story, but I always tried to think that maybe things will get better? you know be nice or too nice? turn the other cheek?
I can understand why sooo many people hate the guy, could never trust him, his verbal abuse alone is what causes the problems to begin with.
He did in fact got me involved with the FBI once when I was recovering from cancer and all I did was answer his call to give him a helping hand and as soon as I arrive at the warehouse it got raided and this moment I will never forget when I had both the ATF and FBI pointed Their Automatic rifles at my head for over hours. I should have ended my career with the ISP *then* in 2003 not continue on until 2007.
I wrote alot of my frustrations in 2004 – 2007 on my own personal blogs back then, why would I have wrote such things?
Here is A thought of why as I am self reflecting, I needed to reach out as I was being verbally abused, maybe for a good intention but everything was handled badly and poorly to a point I felt trapped, starved, and I really needed help as I felt like I’ve made a huge mistake at that point of my life. I couldn’t escape, I needed help badly and I even relayed upon my ex-wife to help me hence is why I left in 2007 and finally pushed myself to a real job from there.
As I am reflecting about the the offer I handed over, the thought process was when he called me a friend in 2019, thinking he might have changed a bit or turned a new leaf?
Just the rejection alone had me reflecting about it and I keep bouncing the idea if I could will it work? and in the end is it worth the effort?
Always thinking of ways of could have handled alot of the situations but the first and foremost is that I should not have been in any of the situations in the first place. If promises was kept and rewards, promotions, and career boosting opportunities arise from within things would have been a whole lot better and proud to be apart of the ISP would be there and not feel like I work for a joke.
I mean they where a joke before I started in 99/00, they had no idea who did what to their network, Pretty much still a joke now with high turnaround rates for low wages.
With all these reflections, thoughts, and memories, I am trying to justify a way if there is a chance I could break down that verbal abuse and claim a promise?
Ultimate goal is to be a partner of some sort with this ISP, CISO is in mind and that is the Ultimate prize, and the dream to build my team and hire a lot of good talent or potential talent.
Sadly… that will never happen. Not unless this owner has a change of heart.