Hi there,
More thoughts today as it continues on.
I advertise that I am open for stuff, I offer and in due time I do fix things for people as requested.
I grew up hard in poverty, I struggled in poverty and I am still trending the poverty line and about to sink back into it, I am struggling to stay a float.
I do everything I can to make a name, like for instance I offer services from Graphic Design, web design and stuff but no one cares and they higher others who isn’t struggling like I am. I offer custom computer building (been doing so for over 20 years), and they reach out and have someone else do it. I see this stuff from people who I call friends and I still don’t know why I still do?
Here I am about to hit the unemployment line and / or homeless shelter as the world keeps increasing their prices on everything and I can’t make enough to keep at it. I am sinking and as long as I am not going anywhere with my business I am toast as things increase even more I can’t keep this up anymore.
I keep applying for better paying jobs that takes me away from my current role and different environment as I keep dreaming that one day I’ll see an increase boom of services / sales. But it’s been over 20 years of pushing, people like redmond computers who stabbed me in the back and pushed me out of Central Oregon with holding me against my will (sadly this was my only success I’ve ever had business wise). I almost made a successful business practice.
It just hurts you know.
I know I do an amazing job and offer an umbrella of services that I’ve placed into different catagories:
RavenPC -> Custom Computer building since 1999… (my dream was to do my own version of Alienware before dell bought them out) Believe it or not I still have a few clients who call me to build them a new system.
DorkMedia -> Graphic and Web Design since 2003, been somewhat in limbo but still have a few clients.
WRNet: -> This used to be an irc network circa 1999 – 2003 ish, with digital underground network, r00tabega and other networks at the time when IRC was the biggest thing. for IRC I still hang on genscripts.net as this is still an co-underground project that started with mIRC custom scripting in 1999.
WRNet:sec -> Broke away my Managed Services and Cyber security here was once apart of RavenPC as an al-a-carte and all since 2019.
2009 – 2011 I had a partner ship with another business model for ravenpc that ended up being redmondcomputers from central oregon, the owner horded all my money and when I questioned it, he stabbed me in the back and I was pushed to vegas and almost had to fight for my rights with a huge legal battle that got null and voided by 2012. Because of this trauma I’ve also have been struggling mentally with my confidence
I just guess in the end, I am apart of communities that should have acknowledged that I exist and know that I do these things as a service, to these communities I’ve became just a name or potentially just a number in their viewer count and just another person also known as “nobody”